Ego can sneak up on you when you least expect it.
I was happy with the decisions I had recently made in my life. I was feeling calm and at peace for the first time in a long time. I was making time for the creative side, writing every chance I could carve out and not feeling guilty.
When out of the blue, my battered Ego rose up and got offended by events out of her control. Reminded me of an opportunity lost.
I fought hard to remind Ego that what she hungered for was never going to be a good place for me. It was no longer a fit for me, my family or the life we now envisioned.
It still hurt. I grieved all over again. I felt the bitter taste of what Ego perceived as ‘failure’ rise to the forefront of my existence. And for a brief time I let Ego take over.
In the past, choosing to let Ego rule had only brought me pain. This time, I chose love and creativity. I journaled those feelings, truly felt them, cried about my lost dreams, and realised that this is just another part of my journey to me. The true me. The creative soul inside.
A wise friend once told me we have to learn from our ego – and love her, she is only doing what she thinks is best for us.