Ego can sneak up on you when you least expect it.
I was happy with the decisions I had recently made in my life. I was feeling calm and at peace for the first time in a long time. I was making time for the creative side, writing every chance I could carve out and not feeling guilty.
When out of the blue, my battered Ego rose up and got offended by events out of her control. Reminded me of an opportunity lost.
I fought hard to remind Ego that what she hungered for was never going to be a good place for me. It was no longer a fit for me, my family or the life we now envisioned.
It still hurt. I grieved all over again. I felt the bitter taste of what Ego perceived as ‘failure’ rise to the forefront of my existence. And for a brief time I let Ego take over.
In the past, choosing to let Ego rule had only brought me pain. This time, I chose love and creativity. I journaled those feelings, truly felt them, cried about my lost dreams, and realised that this is just another part of my journey to me. The true me. The creative soul inside.
A wise friend once told me we have to learn from our ego – and love her, she is only doing what she thinks is best for us.
Some days aren’t easy. today has been hard. tired, anxious, teary. so so tired. but I know that tomorrow will be better. it has to be.
Today I am taking the time to remember all of the extraordinary women who have come before me. Those that have stood with me and who have come after me.
I am fortunate to have had such amazing female role models in my family. Each possessing their own specific qualities that made/make them who they were/are.
Millicent Maud – Strong
Esma Helene – Nurturing
Janice Esma – Hardworking and nurturing
Joyce – Hardworking and nurturing
Lorrene Adele – Loyal, caring and protective
Tracey Meryl – Loyal, dedicated and caring
Kerry Belinda – Strong, protective and confident
Georgia Madelyne – Dignified and resilient with a quiet strength
These women inspire me everyday .
2017 had been the year of change.
2018 was the year of healing.
2019 is going to be the year I transform back into Indiana.